Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's coooooold out there today.
Never seen the movie Groundhog Day?
Never been to the library?
What's wrong with you?!?!?
...Well, I've got a long list of things. First of all, get that thing out of your teeth. What is that, cilantro? You're disgusting. Secondly, you should really start wearing concealer to hide those dark circles. Yes, even if you're a boy. Didn't think you'd get them this early in the semester? You must be a first year...but if you're not, and you've gotten through film school without knowing FCP, just like Jordan Catalano got through high school without knowing how to read, you should still go to BUTLER LIBRARY TOMORROW at 1PM for the INTRO TO FINAL CUT WORKSHOP in ROOM 305.
STOP YELLING? YOU STOP YELLING. Ugh, you make me so mad sometimes.
You don't know where Butler is? Annoying. It's on the south side of campus. The big building. No, not that one. That's Lerner. The other one that looks like smart dudes used to hang out inside and smoke pipes and treat objects like women in the good old days, well before they let chicks on this campus. Weren't you paying attention during orientation? Did you know the construction of Butler was financed by Standard Oil executive, Edward S. Harkness? Well, it was. Also, women weren't allowed to attend Columbia until 1983. Did you know that? I bet you didn't. Well. Now you know. Kinda depressing, isn't it? Just about as depressing as being a film student who doesn't know how to use Final Cut... so go to the intro, will you?
Jesus H. Why are you still sitting there? Do I have to do everything for you? Ugh. How do you even expect to make it in this city?